Hep Me: I Been Brainwashed

Resistance video posted here.

A street stands silent. Eerie shadows flit through the night like the inky black mobile adorning baby Lucifer's crib.

A liberal couple stroll down the street hand in hand.

Jasmine: Pookie?

Dennis: Yes Snookums?

Jasmine: It's awfully quiet

Dennis: Yeah, it is...

A shadow detaches itself from the wall of the alley. The liberal couple stop dead in their tracks, for just a second the tableau holds. The shadow resolves into a shambling figure who moves slowly and resolutely towards the liberal couple.

Jasmine: (voice tight with fear) Pookie?

Dennis: Yes Snookums?

Jasmine: (a slim finger points) What is that?

Dennis: ...

Their breath suddenly began to pump in thier chests as the figure eased into the dirty illumination of the street lamp. Like wolves their screams oddly out of tune as their eyes drank in the ghastly sight.

He, and it was definitely a he, stood about six two. Thin, wispy hair stood fly away around a foul yellow monk's tonsure. A tattered bright orange Club Gitmo shirt adorned his upper body. He approached, thrusting something toward the trembling liberals.

It was a bible!

The creature: There were WMD's, Iraqi's greeted us with flowers, we now have cheap oil, there were Jihadi's before the war...

Two shots rang out and the creature spun in a clumsy pirouette, a fine mist of blood standing heavy in the air where the creatures hip had been.

The liberals turned this way and that. The shooter was nowhere to be seen. With a groaning screech a warehouse door flung open, a triangle of dingy light cut a wedge into the street. A harsh voice told them to shag thier asses inside.

The rag-tag band waited wide eyed as the liberals warily entered the crumbling warehouse. The leader stepped up to greet them, a steely glint in his eyes.

Jasmine: Don't I know you from somewhere?

Dennis: You're G. Gordon Liddy!

G. Gordon Liddy: Yes, yes I am, and you, what were you doing walking around like that? Don't you know it's not safe anymore?

Jasmine: It isn't?

Dennis: Why not?

G. Gordon Liddy: Haven't you heard? Chris Matthews gave us the tip. George Bush turned all red staters into zombies to get his war.

Jasmine: But, but...aren't you a...

Dennis: Evil neo-con fascist?

G. Gordon Liddy: Yes, yes I am, however I'm something else as well...

Jasmine: What?

Dennis: Tell us!

G. Gordon Liddy: A conspiracy theorist!

Jasmine & Dennis: Ahhh!

G. Gordon Liddy: These Red Staters are tough but they can be beaten.

Jasmine & Dennis: How?

G. Gordon Liddy produced two matte black, lethal looking handguns. He swiftly and efficiently chacked the cylinder and worked the action before proferring them to the liberals.

G. Gordon Libby: Just remember-- Shoot for thier fat bulging wallets

Jasmine: I don't think so!

Dennis: Yeah, we're like pacifists, you know?

G. Gordon Liddy: There is another way

His compact figure moved to a cabinet, fished around for a moment, and came out grasping a crumpled piece of paper and thrust it into the air triumphantly.

G. Gordon Liddy: With this!

Jasmine & Dennis: What is that?

G. Gordon Libby: The Downing Street Memo!

Jasmine: But you shot the other one?

Dennis: Yeah.

G. Gordon Liddy: Yes, yes I did.

Jasmine & Dennis: But why?

G. Gordon Liddy: That was a special case, he's been dogging us for weeks

Jasmine & Dennis: Who?

G. Gordon Libby: Karl Rove

Jasmine & Dennis: Ahhh!

As seen @
Adam's blog

NIF

those bastards

the biz o' 'merica