Ass Monkeys ATTACK!

Okay, in the course of operating a blog, on occasion, people leave comments. This is usually a good thing, solid debate, air the issues all that.

Then, on occasion a screaming ass monkey stops by and stops you in your tracks with a breathtaking display. My wife and I post quite a bit about illegal immigration, it's a subject we feel passionately about as we have both worked in the hospitality field and seen up close and personal the down sides of it.

Well I posted this the other day. It was an article suggesting that ILLEGAL aliens cost us on average $1800 a head.

So, the next morning I fire up my trusty laptop and free all surfaces of cats and kittens. Logging onto the internet I find a message waiting for me:
The calculation was done only for Florida, not for other states, and it does not consider the billions of dollars paid by illegal aliens into social security. I find this very typical: a paranoid radical anti-immigration fanatic skewing facts

So on the upside, he's reasonable. On the negative side of the ledger he's a screaming ass-monkey. Well I donned my anti ass monkey gloves carefully dipping my hands into a bucket of ass monkey disinfectant, because, who knows? It might be catching.

As dispassionately as possible I dip my toe into his green skied world and respond: (snipped for length, feel free to contact for the full transcript)
Also, there's a dishonesty on your side of the issue that really chaps my ass, let me share. There's one word that you neglect in your email. You accuse me of being against immigration. Nothing could be further from the truth. This country was indeed built on immigration, controlled orderly immigration. The word your side seems incapable of uttering is ILLEGAL.
Also, if your gonna call me out on something, please take the time to read the article, your two points were addressed within.

Luckily for me this fellow has an IQ hovering somewhere around room temperature. He assures me that he's secretly very well read, but, he doesn't want that information getting out or they might ask him to actually do something at his place of employment. He responds:
I did take the time to read the article as well as many others, and unlike
you, my comments reflected all the facts. You and many other paranoid
radical anti-immigration fanatics selectively highlight the facts that
support your pre-drawn conclusions and ignore

This is starting to drag a little for me so I keep it snappy:
Funny, I was thinking the same of you. I note you are still unable to use the word ILLEGAL. Why is that?
Oh, the ad hominem stuff makes you look like a nut, not me pal. Though tiresome I'll come right out and say it, I support Immigration, just not ILLEGAL immigration. Do you support bank robbers and pedophiles? ILLEGAL, Mr. Ass-monkey (name withheld), makes all the difference in the world

Careful readers will note in the upcoming passage he STILL hasn't allowed the dread "I"* word to be typed: You chose to highlight the $1800 per head that it costs the state. YOU did not mention in your introduction to the article the contributions that immigrants make to the economy nor to Federal programs. YOU selectively chose to highlight ONLY those facts that support your pre-drawn conclusion. This is called spin and is a dishonest presentation.

Okay, I'm starting to get a little confused here. I'm not exactly sure why he's referencing this again, so I reply: ILLEGAL, Mr. Ass-Monkey (name withheld), makes all the difference in the world.

Quoth the raven: A piece of paper is the only difference between illegal and legal.

Oh-hoh! Well, well, well. This has suddenly gotten interesting again. If I owned a television I would probably lean over slowly and flip Sally Jesse Raphael off. Sadly. we don't so I settled for tossing a kitten unceremoniously off my desk and savoring the moment. I finally got a leftie to admit they support ILLEGAL immigration. Truly curious I shoot back: So, if I rob a bank, or molest a child, the only difference between legal and illegal is a piece of paper? It's weak Mr. Ass-monkey (name withheld) and you know it.

Ever the Grand Master he retorts, and you sense he thinks he's got me on the ropes: It certainly is a weak comparison. Illegally crossing a border and causing absolutely no harm to anyone is certainly a lot different than robbing a bank or molesting a child.

Okay, here it is. I've been hoping to find a lefty with at least a vestige of a brain to debate on my site ala Hannity & Colmes. Is this my guy? It clearly wouldn't be too difficult to pin his soggy ass, mentally at least, and frankly it always does my heart good to get liberals to make funny involuntary noises. I pose the challenge, fingers crossed behind my back: Okay, why don't you make your argument. Explain to me exactly why you support ILLEGAL immigration and we'll have it out on our respective blogs.

I read his next response, breath held, hoping, hoping...Who said I support illegal immigration? Man, you are amazing. Character assassination. Spin via use of selective facts. Now defining your opponent's argument. Is there any sleazy debate tactic you DON'T use?

WTF!! You have got to be kidding me! Here I am walking around with a chubby thinking I've got a liberal on the spit, somebody dumb enough that they don't even know how dumb they are and he pulls this? I'm outraged.

Seriously, can anybody follow this. I clearly have him supporting ILLEGAL immigration a couple of responses back: A piece of paper is the only difference between illegal and legal.

Did I miss something? So he clearly saaays he supports ILLEGAL immigration, then he pulls a Clinton and just denies what he clearly told me.

You know what? He just changed my mind on Roe v. Wade.

* ILLEGAL, clearly a word not favored by Ass-Monkeys