Pizza Perpetrator: Run, Dumbass, Run!

A man apparently looking for free lunch was arrested for allegedly assaulting a pizza delivery man.

Police say Virgil Dennis ordered three pies from Pizza Hut at lunchtime Tuesday and gave the address of a vacant apartment downstairs from his own. When the driver arrived, authorities say 22-year-old Dennis pressed a knife against the delivery man's neck and demanded the pizzas.

It's all here.

After the crime was reported, police were able to trace the perpetrator's location because he gave his correct phone number when he called in the pre-meditated pizza order. Apparently he got really, really hungry and decided to fraudently order a pizza and take it from the delivery guy at knifepoint instead of attending his monthly Mensa meeting.

Jackson County prosecutors charged Dennis with first-degree robbery and armed criminal action. Police returned the uneaten slices to Pizza Hut.

They'll probably show up on today's lunch buffet.

Stupid Criminals
Pizza
Police
Mensa