Freedom Folks

Monday, May 15, 2006

Border To Be Secured Within 24 Hours

This just in:Rightontheright
May 15th, 2006

An exclusive source within the White House has alerted me to some of the content of President Bush's address tonight. According to my source, the White House made an explicit effort to coordinate tonight's speech with tonight's episode of the hit television series 24. The following is the statement I recieved from my source:

"The President has decided not to call the National Guard, and to actually relinquish the Border Patrol of their current duties. Instead, as a cost-effective and a more workable solution, Jack Bauer will be deployed to the Southern Border."

This revelation is likely to cause much outrage in the pro-illegal community. Mexican President Vicente Fox has issued a warning to all Mexicans still seeking entry into the United States, claiming that any Mexican within 50 miles of the border is "fair game." The United States government has even proposed renaming the Rio Grande the Jack Bauer, citing the tagline "No One Crosses Jack Bauer and Lives." Updates as they comeā€¦
Now that's what I call a plan!

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