Freedom Folks: Satire?

Source: azconservative

Bush Announces “Million Mexicans a Month” Plan

President Bush and Mexican President-elect Felipe Calderon pledged to work closely on border security and migration, which Bush said remains a top priority for his administration. Bush told reporters, “I assured the president-elect that comprehensive immigration reform is something I believe needs to happen.”

Under the Bush plan, the U.S. will move its security perimeter to Mexico’s southern border. “Mexico’s southern border is much shorter than the northern one,” Bush pointed out. “It will be easier to patrol to prevent unauthorized entry into both countries.”

Mexico’s southern border would be jointly patrolled by armed forces from the two nations. As compensation for allowing the U.S. to move its security perimeter south from the Rio Grande, Mexico will receive funds from the U.S. sufficient to support one million Mexicans. The payments will be made monthly based on a random drawing of names on the unemployment rolls. Mexicans must appear in person to collect.

Bush expressed confidence that the monthly stipends would deter Mexicans from seeking to enter the U.S. illegally. “If Mexicans are already getting checks from America without having to work, why would they sneak into America to take sub-minimum wage jobs?” Bush asked.

“I was strongly struck by President Bush’s comments where he said that the new Congress could open new possibilities of understanding,” Calderon said, “This is a very opportune moment for both countries to pursue the goal of a comprehensive international migration reform.”

In related news, Democrats have announced plans to repeal the recently enacted border security fence between the U.S. and Mexico. “The voters have elected Democrats to end the racist Republican scheme to shut out our Hispanic brothers,” said Senator Ted Kennedy (D-Mass.). “The American people want us to extend the hand out of friendship, not put barriers between neighbors.” Kennedy said he was also working on a tax package to fund education and healthcare benefits for recent migrants, most of whom are poorly educated and have no insurance.