A Day Without a Mexican Left Me Longing for a Day Without a Movie

I can't think of one positive thing to say about this steaming pile of crap masquerading as a comedy film. OK, maybe one thing: IT ENDED.

If you happen to have seen it, I extend my deepest, most heartfelt condolences for one hour and thirty eight minutes of your life that you'll never get back. One hour and thirty eight minutes that could have been spent doing something far more interesting and productive, like, oh I don't know -- staring at a spot on the wall, or digging for toe jam.

If you haven't seen the movie (and I hesitate to use that term, because it only denigrates films that are better by leaps and bounds, like Barb Wire and Seed of Chucky), allow me to give you a quick run-down of the main points, which were delivered in a most ham-handed, smack-you-over-the-head-with-a-frying-pan fashion:

All white people are stupid, racist assholes
You are Mexican if you "feel Mexican in your heart"
If all Latinos magically disappeared from this country, Americans' first response would be to loot CDs from abandoned cars and rush to the store to stock up on produce
The words ILLEGAL and IMMIGRANT must never be used together as a phrase
And did I mention that all white people are stupid, racist assholes?

There. You've still got one hour and thirty five minutes left. No need to thank me. All I ask is that you use the time to do something much more fun than watching A Day Without a Mexican. May I suggest a root canal?

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