Freedom Folks

Saturday, March 25, 2006

A Day Without A Mexican: My Review



You see, that’s really what it’s all about. Mexicans are the lifeblood of this nation. They are the workers, the carpenters, the mechanics, the landscape artists, the nannies, the doctors, the scientists, the professional baseball team owners, the farm workers, the construction laborers, the cooks, the gardeners, the police officers, the judges, the journalists and yes, the entertainers. I’m not saying that only Mexicans/Latinos fill these much-needed services. But it’s high time that someone acknowledged their presence, and more importantly, their importance. Link
I am dumber for having seen this film. It is quite possibly the worst, most pandering, self serving film I've ever seen. It manages to be insulting to every person and race on the planet while at the same time possessing precisely zero redeeming value.

Let me start by saying that I was unaware that all Mexicans were saints, I'm unsure how this slipped by me, but there you have it. I was also unaware that all white people were utter incompetents who can't mind their own kids, pick fruit, wash a dish, cook a meal, dry and wax their cars, pick up trash, make music...

I was furthermore unaware that all black people hate Mexicans, I guess you learn something new every single day.

This movie purports to be a comedy, unfortunately the laughs are few and far between and often unintended. There seems to be some confusion in the screenwriter's mind, well there seems to be an absolute buttload of confusion in the writer's mind, but let's focus on one.

Whoever the asshat scribbler was who penned this trash seems to be challenged on the basic notion of citizenhood. Latino's are not necessarily illegal, while illegals are not necessarily Latino. Though after watching this film it would be understandable if you walked away with that impression. Conflation is the order of the day in this film that can't seem to pin down exactly what illegal means.

Furthermore the movie is chock-a-bloc full of disinformation, half truths and flat out lies. Who knew that illegals were the primary reason for California's success. Of course if you define success as a failed socialist state wollowing in debt and out of control Political correctness, then yes I'm sure illegal immigration is a key component of that sort of "success."

In an orgy of Hollywood-centric socialism almost every white person is presented as rich and successful and almost every Latino is presented as a laborer of some sort. There are exceptions that prove the rule of course. The old farmer who luvs him some illegals, not cuz they save him money of course, no sirree Bob! No, he luvs illegals cuz they are the best people in the whole wide world.

This is contrasted with his evil son who is an ardent member of a cartoonishly rendered cinema version of the Minuteman Project. The son hates Mexicans and refuses to speak Spanish, while repudiating his father's agragarian lifestyle.

The senator and his bubble headed blonde wife play the typical buffoonish underdrawn cartoon caricatures of a powerful couple. He hates Mexicans though he must pretend to love them in public, while she just loves her some Mexicans.

And of course the Border Patrol is presented as staffed with racist idiots and a waste of money.

One of the few "successful" Latino's/Hispanics/Mexicans is a weatherman. In one scene his beautiful blonde co-worker knibbles on his knob yet won't give him a happy ending, putatatively because he's a Latino/Hispanic/Mexican. Perhaps if she just got his rocks off we could have ended the film then, but no, there was a whole bunch more to suffer through.

Our protagonist Lila, is a Latina/Hispanic/Mexican news reporter who got the job because she's a Latina/Hispanic/Mexican and her producer is an evil, hyper, presumably Waspy bastard who's just full of nastiness. We are given clues early on that there is a secret surrounding her parentage, but let me not spoil the surprise.

After a busy and stupid opening flurry we arrive at the big day, a pink cloud surrounds California and Latino's/Hispanics/Mexicans begin to disappear without a trace. Lila seems to hold the key as she's the only remaining Latina/Hispanic/Mexican left.

Cue the obligatory and ultimately silly evil Military industrial complex moment with the introduction of the squinty eyed General who sees everyone as expendable, oh no!

With no more Mexicans Califorrnia devolves into a living hell of having to wipe your own ass and prepare your own tea (the horror! the horror!). White people are fighting inexplicably in front of a car wash. Crops are rotting in the field though the Latino's/Hispanics/Mexicans have only been missing for about three seconds. I never realized crops were THAT time sensitive! And of course the ever present shots of garbage accumulating on the curb, are all garbage men in LA illegal?

Every so often you hear the sound of a pencil scratching on paper and you are presented with some ridiculous factoid (90% of which made me cheer the thought of a "Day without Mexicans). I grew to dread this sound and MJ was laughing by the end because I was sighing so loudly every time you would hear the evil scritch-scritch of the pencil.

Spoiler alert! If you actually plan to watch this dreck please don't read further so you can "enjoy" this film for yourself.

In the spectacularly ridiculous ending Lila shouts out that she's a "Mexican in her heart" and is whisked away to wherever the Latino's/Hispanics/Mexicans have gone. The ending is an embarrassment of riches, if you define riches as the most overwrought brain dead drivel you could possibly imagine.

The entire state of California experiences an orgy of repentance begging the illegal aliens to come back. Yeah, that could happen.

I thought it was interesting that nobody mentioned the things that really would change if California really had a day without an illegal. Drugs would be pretty hard to come by, murders would drop precipitously, along with traffic accidents. Wages would rise and educations would magically get better (teacher's unions excepted, of course)

I think America would do just fine without Mexicans seeing as their not, you know, citizens and all. An American can be many things, any race color or creed, from anywhere in the world, with any background. There is one thing an American cannot be though...A Mexican, A Pakistani, A Russian, A Korean. Nope, me? I'm a big fan of people coming here and becoming Americans, don't like it, you could always go back to...Mexico!

This movie was insulting on every level, an outstanding display of moral relevance the likes of which you're not likely to see, well, until the next one.

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