Funniest. Story. Ever!

Source: yahoonews

The president was shilling his "Kill America First" bill in the heartland today. The rubes weren't buyin' (I proudly count myself in the rube category).

He began with this tripe...

OMAHA, Neb. - New arrivals to this country must adopt American values and learn English, President Bush said Wednesday, pushing anew for his proposal to overhaul immigration rules.

Whatever dude, I'm sure La Raza (or the brown Nazi's) will have something to say about that.

On to the funny...(the funny bolded for your reading pleasure)

The president has taken several tacks in recent weeks to bring around recalcitrant lawmakers, including repeated emphasis on his seriousness about tightening the border with more manpower and equipment and imposing stiffer penalties on businesses that hire illegal immigrants.

He's serial folks, dead serial, especially on doing all that enforcement stuff that he refuses to do now, serial!

Oh, as to the several tacks? Yeah, here's a thought chief, how about tacking toward the truth? Radical thought, I know.

And then the super (idiot style) funny...

"One aspect of making sure we have an immigration system that works, that's orderly and fair, is to actively reach out and help people assimilate into our country," Bush said in a speech at a local community college. "That means to learn the values and history and language of America."

The president may have undermined that message somewhat while at the Juan Diego Center, as he joined in a class preparing students for their U.S. citizenship tests. Though the instructor addressed students in English, Bush mostly chose their native Spanish to greet and quiz them. When the students couldn't answer his question — how many father-son duos have served as president — Bush explained in Spanish that there have been two, the Bushes and "Juan Adams y su hijo Juan Q."

I can speak bad Spanish too, "Besame me culo, el dictator loco, por favor." Impressive eh?

But wait, there's more...

With business groups who want a steady supply of cheap labor the driving force behind a temporary worker program, Bush noted the support of Nebraska's hospitality and agricultural industries. He also countered pessimistic sentiments like Nelson's.

Cheap labor, our fine upstanding free trade pirates? I don't believe it, I thought it was a deep, deep love of importing socialist wage slaves who will eventually turn this into a third world crapfest and elect nothing but Democrats, cuz Democrats be good for bidness!

Shhh, these business types don't realize how incredibly STUPID and SHORTSIGHTED they are as they hollow this country out like the verminous termites they mimic so skillfully.

And the obligatory Fantasy Island moment...

"I know you probably look at Washington and think it's impossible to develop a consensus in Washington, D.C. It probably seems that way, doesn't it, when you pay attention to all the sharp elbows being thrown and, you know, the people opinionating and screaming and hollering and calling each other names," the president said. "But there is a consensus emerging on this issue."

Uh-huh, and that consensus would be what? An overwhelming flow of criminal foreigners, sweet! Sign me up, I'll take two.

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