Right Idea, Wrong Plan

As always, the president delivered some delicious rhetoric in his annual State of the Union address last night.

Extending hope and opportunity in our country requires an immigration system worthy of America -- with laws that are fair and borders that are secure. When laws and borders are routinely violated, this harms the interests of our country.

Yep. Sounds good.

To secure our border, we're doubling the size of the Border Patrol, and funding new infrastructure and technology.

Uh-oh. You're losing me already, Mr. President. You could make every other citizen a Border Patrol agent -- if their hands are tied when it comes to chasing down drug smugglers, what's the point?

Yet even with all these steps, we cannot fully secure the border unless we take pressure off the border -- and that requires a temporary worker program. We should establish a legal and orderly path for foreign workers to enter our country to work on a temporary basis. As a result, they won't have to try to sneak in...

Yeah, OK. Now you're really losing me, Mr. President. If you've got a fox sniffing around your hen house (that would have been SUCH a good pun if Vicente Fox was still presidente), the recommended course of action is not to let him in "temporarily" as long as he promises to leave later. You shoo him away with increasing force until he gets the message that you're actually interested in protecting your hens.

May I suggest a big ass fence on the southern border, manned by a big ass deployement of enforcers with big ass guns, and a big ass will to use them until people start getting the message that YOU are interested in protecting YOUR hens?

We'll enforce our immigration laws at the work site and give employers the tools to verify the legal status of their workers, so there's no excuse left for violating the law.

You can stop talking about this any time now, Mr. President. You've been talking about it for years. Your predecessors talked about it. The laws are already on the books -- you don't even have to wait for legislation to pass to prosecute employers who hire illegal aliens. Just DO IT already.

We need to uphold the great tradition of the melting pot that welcomes and assimilates new arrivals.

Sounds good, until...

We need to resolve the status of the illegal immigrants who are already in our country without animosity and without amnesty.

We don't need to "resolve the status" of illegal aliens in the country, we need to resolve their location -- as in resolving their location from the country they are in illegally to the countries from which they came. Then see above regarding big ass fences and big ass guns.

And you need to get some help -- a tutor, perhaps? -- regarding the definition of amnesty. We had one in 1986. You might want to check that out and see how it worked. Then see above regarding big ass fences and big ass guns.

Just the opinion of one humble citizen who has some thoughts on the subject. In case you're interested.

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President Bush * State of the Union * Illegal Immigration * Amnesty * Big Ass Fence * Big Ass Guns