Freedom Folks: A Reconquista Plays The Catskills?

***UPDATES BELOW***

Source: zwire

Alfonso Aguilar, head of US Office Of Citizenship played a comedy gig in the Catskills yesterday...

"Immigration is without a doubt the issue of the day," Aguilar said. "Immigrants are going where there are jobs. You have a large number of undocumented immigrants and it is in (your) best interest to know who is here."

He promoted President George Bush's guest-worker program saying that the current legal process to gain U.S. citizenship is mired in a bureaucracy that can take years. He also said that without immigrants doing the work that Americans won't, the U.S. economy would collapse.

"Immigrants can help revitalize sectors of your cities," he said. "I encourage the mayors to develop a strategic plan (to help those immigrants) become a part of the community."

...Aguilar conceded that most Americans will not work for the wages paid to immigrants. But he also stressed that regardless of wages, some industries like poultry processing plants cannot find enough Americans to "fill those jobs."

"Today's unemployment rate is 4.5 percent," he said. "We are in a period of transition. Immigrants are not driving wages down - although (immigrant labor) may affect some sectors."

..."Don't fear immigrants," he said. "They are good, hardworking people that share our values. They are not here to impose their culture."

...He said the "rule of law" is the most important value...

Man! That's a kneeslapper!

I bolded every joke I could find, can you find any I missed?

Oh, and a shiny penny to anyone who can locate the secret word.

***UPDATE***

Blogmate JimK finds two jokes I missed...

Jake you missed 2 glaring jokes...
"Immigrants can help revitalize sectors of your cities," Is he talking about area's like South Central LA, Little Havana in Miami etc..Ask the people who live with the drugs and rampant violence in some of these areas how revitalized they are?
"They are good, hardworking people that share our values.
Maybe if you values include forgery, identity theft and miriad other "victimless" crimes.
We won't even touch on the 4.5% unemployment rate knee slapper. As we have discussed before the unemployment figures are so twisted by who is not counted, not to mention those who are forced to work 2-3 jobs just to make ends meet due to stagnating or falling wages.