Freedom Folks

Tuesday, September 26, 2006

One Question


Jill E. Family has a piece lamenting that poor illegal aliens are being denied their "civil rights."
Access to an independent judiciary with the power to hold the government accountable in its dealings with individuals is a founding principle of the United States. In contrast, imagine a system where there is no access to independent judgment; where, instead, the referee works for the opposing team. The House of Representatives took a step away from this founding principle by passing the Border Protection, Antiterrorism, and Illegal Immigration Control Act (H.R. 4437) on December 16, 2005. A provision of the bill would erode access to independent judgment by severely restricting access to the federal courts for individuals in removal (deportation) proceedings. This provision is part of a long string of efforts by proponents of restrictive immigration policies to limit the jurisdiction of the federal courts over immigration cases. *snip*

Immigration judges and BIA members are being asked to more quickly adjudicate complicated cases with life-altering implications, leaving insufficient time for legal analysis. According to Dana Leigh Marks, a San Francisco immigration judge and Vice President of the National Association of Immigration Judges, immigration judges “do not have the luxury of rendering written decisions,” do not have “the legal niceties of moving papers and in depth memos and motions to support the decisions that [they] render,” and must share staff heavily (Marks reports that she can lay claim to only one-sixth of a law clerk).2 As immigration enforcement efforts increase, Marks foresees greater strain on an administrative process that is already “going too fast.”3 Chief Judge John M. Walker, Jr. of the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Second Circuit calculated that immigration judges must dispose of more than five cases per business day to stay current and that eleven BIA members are expected to dispose of 43,000 cases per year.
Now, I ain't pretending to be a fancified law professor howevah, does it not seem that those responsible for our current legal system enjoy making things as needlessly complicated as humanly possible? Frankly this all boils down to one question...

Are you here illegally?

If so, you got to go. It really IS that simple. Or, to put it even more indelicately please allow me to trot out the infamous, the unstoppable..."Jake's Ham Sammich Rule!"
This is when I invoke Jake's Ham Sammich rule. If you're in the country illegally you are entitled to a well prepared, and frankly delicious Ham Sammich followed by a helpful boot in the ass to assist you in exiting the country. As always, a fizzy soda of your choice IS optional.
It really is that simple, asshat! Hell if you leave today we'll throw in a bag of chips.

Also, and I realize that I'm treading on dangerous ground here but, any guesses on whom enjoys "civil rights" in a sovereign nation? Anybody? Anybody?

Super secret answer....Here!


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