Dean-o-Matic

It fabricates! It exaggerates! It slanders! It sidesteps! It denies! It lies! It's the Dean-o-Matic, and it can be yours for the excruciating price of sitting through a Tim Russert interview!

That right, folks. Howard Dean, alas, continues to be Howard Dean. Who needs facts when you can just make shit up?

Remember when he said that Republicans..."all behave the same. They all look the same. It's pretty much a white Christian party..."?

Or maybe when he said that Republicans..."have never made an honest living in their lives..."?

Well, check out the latest here.

"I think Democrats always have to stand up and tell the truth and that's what we're doing."

Dishonest, delusional, and clearly not using the same dictionary as the rest of us.

"Telling the trust has a lot to do with defending America. If people don't believe you -- if 80 percent of the people in Jordan, which is one of our most important allies, don't believe us, then we've got a bigger defense problem with Zarqawi than we do if people -- if we become once again, as we have been in the past, the moral beacon for the rest of the world."

WHAT? The people in JORDAN??? Did I miss the addition of a new state to our republic? Damn those afternoon naps!

"We need to make it clear that Democrats will stand up for America and pull the trigger in defense of America."

Democrats will stand up for America?
OK, I'm waiting.
YAWN.
Still waiting.
YAWN. STRETCH.
STILL waiting.

And you might want to reconsider the "pull the trigger" phraseology. Don't want to piss off your "No more guns for you!" Gun Nazi base.

Then the Dean-o-Matic sums up what he says the Dems are going to do to fix all these problems that those nasty Republicans have created...

"We have an alternative agenda," he said. "We made it very clear. We want a strong national security based on telling the truth to our people at home, our soldiers and our allies. We want jobs in America that'll stay in America, and we believe that renewable energy is one of the areas where we can do that. We want a health-care system that covers everybody, just like 36 other countries in the world. We want a strong public education system. And most of all, we want honesty back in government. I think that's a pretty good agenda."

Telling the truth to all Americans is, indeed, crucial. When you're ready to start, please let me know. But strong national security also demands action, and a whole lot of it -- something on which the Dean-o-Matic and his buddies continually come up short.

If you want jobs to come and stay for America, then don't just TALK about it -- DO something. A good place to start? STOP VOTING FOR BILLS THAT ONLY MAKE OUR IMMIGRATION WOES WORSE.

You want good health-care and a strong public education system? Show me someone who doesn't. Then show me a plan to make it better, not just tired old rhetoric that suggests that you have some infallible, top-secret plan to make it happen, if only you had the chance. Talk is cheap.

You know you want one. I bet you have a moonbat on your Christmas (that's right -- I said CHRISTMAS -- Christmas, Christmas, Christmas!) list who's hard to shop for. So what are you waiting for? Call 1-800-DNC-CRAP to order your Dean-o-Matic today!

Available at these fine retailers--
Blue State Conservative
The Political Teen
bRight & Early
NIF
The Political Teen